My first post.

My essay for Sir.

Being a submissive is part of who i am, i have always been one just not always known what it is. i love being directed, controlled and ordered to do things by another knowing i am getting pleasure and so is He or She. It is not always easy, punishments at times can be painful emotionally and challenging like this one is. I do find pain punishments are more funishments as i am a masochist after all. However, there is always a place for funishments too. 

Parts of being a submissive i enjoy the most is that i get to face challenges, push myself and my limits safe in the hands of another. i do like pushing back and being stubborn at times testing the Dominant i am with and there is nothing worse when He or She doesn’t rise to the challenge and lets me win or worse top from the bottom.

I love the sense of release i get cumming for someone He or She wanted that for me, also knowing they will be waiting for news of my orgasm they get a sense of achievement through me. i enjoy online fun as it’s not always possible to live the lifestyle but when i do get the opportunity for real life hands on play i love it. i love being taken to my limits and find they were not where i thought they were. 

My collar i love it i have a strong connection between my collar and my pussy. I've never had so much collar play as i do with you and i guess that’s why i have forgotten it on a couple of occasions and for this i am truly sorry. i have yet to play with a collar on as most Doms are cautious because of what it symbolises however i know i can collar play as long as it is clear that is what we are doing just playing.

When putting my collar on my heart starts to beat faster and when it is on i can feel the pulse in my neck. i get so excited and instantly wet i find it very hard not to touch and i am so desperate to touch and cum whilst writing this essay to you. Wearing my collar enables me to feel connected to the Dom I am playing with i feel completely submitted to Him, i feel empowered to go to my limits for me for Him for us. It lets me connect to my submissive side i chose my collar its mine i own it like i own my submission. However, i love and need to be told to wear it as wearing it for ‘me’ is not like wearing it for you. The photo i sent you this morning of me wearing my collar said so much to me how i feel wearing it. 

I hope this essay pleases you even though my behaviour displeased you so that i had to write this for you. i do find things like this very hard to write but also very cathartic when they have been complete. Thank you Sir for this opportunity to reflect and learn.