A few weeks ago I maybe foolishly questioned someone who was body shaming and slut shaming women on Twitter. She felt I had no right to say anything as it was nothing to do with me. What followed on from this was then an attack on me how I was vanilla, a wannabe, a fake and that I could only dream of having what she has got. At the time I was pretty pissed off but did my best not to get embroiled in an argument about this but to try to stay on track though this was difficult considering what was being 'said' to me. I also only intervened at that point because I had seen this person do this sort of thing to people quite a few times and I felt that looking the other way is not part of who I am. Anyway, I then became a target for another person who was just spoiling for an argument about how I have no right to say anything about this as it doesn't concern me. I was thinking so who does it concern? Who stands up for people who are being targeted by others because they essentially don't like the fact that these girls are tweeting to her 'Dom'?
As for whether I'm a fake? A wannabe? Vanilla? Jealous of her? I can honestly say no, no, most of the time and no. Do I dream of having a life where I'm treated infantile? No. Do I dream of a life where someone decides what I eat or don't eat? No. Do I dream of a life where I meet my man every couple of weeks to get my bottom spanked? No. Do I dream to be with a Dom that I turned down because he bored me and has asked every sub on Twitter that I know of to be 'his' no I most definitely don't. But I don't judge you or anyone for having that life what I do judge and I have no problem with this is anyone persecuting and slut and body shaming someone who you just don't like for whatever reason.
I have the life I have I enjoy it. I don't need to tweet about it and I definitely have no desire to defend it.
Just getting some thoughts out there
M xx
Sunday 25 October 2015
Friday 2 January 2015
Rationing game
This is how my January is looking
Start with 15 orgasms allowed over a 7 day period.
Can take them at any time, but only allowed 15 in the 7 day period.
The number can be added to from the following list of tasks:
- Plus 1 - Writing phrase on breasts for day
- Plus 1 - Writing phrase above pussy for day
- Plus 1 - Edging 2 times
- Plus 2 - Not wearing knickers for a work day
- Plus 1 - Sending 3 pictures
- Plus 2 - Sending 1 video
- Plus 3 - Not cumming for a day and not mentioning it at all
Orgasms can be taken away at my discretion, but the following are guides:
- Sticking tongue out
- Forgetting to say what you are wearing in a day
- Forgetting inspection photos
Other methods of gaining orgasms may be added during the course of the game.
Wednesday 10 December 2014
Me and then His
Well things have changed so much I hardly recognise myself. I am comfortable and almost happy in my own skin. I have learnt so much about myself and who I am.
I lost who I was I became a sort of robot trying to conform to ever changing boundaries, rules and when I thought I was almost meeting an arbitrary standard or expected way to be, the goal posts would change yet again.
It is hard to admit and speak about the level, intensity and amount of verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse I suffered for 18 years. No one will ever really know as I have been conditioned to think a certain way about myself and when I hear someone's thoughts or their reaction to what I became to see as normal it scares me as often those are the 'lesser' things as I am willing to talk about them.
When I started to hear myself saying more and more often 'please don't treat our daughter like you do me, because she doesn't understand it' I started to question what I was setting my daughter up for. When she started to hide how she felt and would talk to me in secret I knew I had to change things. I had at this point checked out emotionally. You learn to switch your feelings off to protect them I became a shell, kind of half of me.
Things are looking up and I am lucky enough to have found someone very special who I can share the rediscovered me with and he likes all of me for me. It is awesome to be with someone you can truly be yourself with all of me not just what I think he wants to see.
I lost who I was I became a sort of robot trying to conform to ever changing boundaries, rules and when I thought I was almost meeting an arbitrary standard or expected way to be, the goal posts would change yet again.
It is hard to admit and speak about the level, intensity and amount of verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse I suffered for 18 years. No one will ever really know as I have been conditioned to think a certain way about myself and when I hear someone's thoughts or their reaction to what I became to see as normal it scares me as often those are the 'lesser' things as I am willing to talk about them.
When I started to hear myself saying more and more often 'please don't treat our daughter like you do me, because she doesn't understand it' I started to question what I was setting my daughter up for. When she started to hide how she felt and would talk to me in secret I knew I had to change things. I had at this point checked out emotionally. You learn to switch your feelings off to protect them I became a shell, kind of half of me.
Things are looking up and I am lucky enough to have found someone very special who I can share the rediscovered me with and he likes all of me for me. It is awesome to be with someone you can truly be yourself with all of me not just what I think he wants to see.
Monday 8 September 2014
Tuesday 2 September 2014
Thursday 28 August 2014
First Meeting
They had been talking for months online just general chatting getting to know each other maybe the occasional flirty conversation. Then one day something changed in the way they chatted she saw a caring side not that she had never seen this side of him but that he could possibly care for her this was new, different and she liked it. For him there was just something about her he wasn't sure what but he liked the way it made him feel.
Their conversations went further than friendly flirting they swapped photos she hates doing this always worried and self conscious. She liked what she saw of him he had friendly eyes and the way he positioned the camera meant he was looking down to her with a smile on his face this made her instantly twitch and smile.
A few weeks went by they spoke everyday about what they both enjoyed in their respective roles of a D/s relationship. They always agreed they would be honest with each other, this is key upfront and be honest. Those first tentative phone calls where she heard his voice she melted often and as they became more relaxed around each other, the more heated the conversations became. The first time he ordered her to cum on the phone she wasn't sure she could do it for him or for herself, she wanted to, needed to but to let go but to let him hear her was huge for her ......... He encouraged her to let go that she needed it, he wanted it and he commanded it.......
Weeks passed they talked about anything and everything she came and so did he. Then one day they talked about meeting they both longed for the physical connection of skin to skin contact. They matched their busy schedules and the date was set. He instructed her what she was to wear, he booked the room there was the agreement coffee and chat first but if it felt right they could move things on. As the day approached nerves grew including his he felt comfortable with her to tell her this they both agreed honesty after all no facades just them.
Times were set and the day came she was nervous they spoke the night before this helped slightly but despite her nerves she was keen to meet and felt under no pressure that meeting meant things had to happen. She dressed according to his instructions and despite her concerns on self image when she was ready she felt pretty good about herself and give herself a little smile in the mirror and she set off.
He told her when she arrived she was to message him and he would tell her where to meet him he arrived ahead of her he'd rather be early than late. She parked her car she messaged him, he texted her back and told her she needed to head to a certain location she smiled at her phone thinking this sounded vague and wondered what it could mean. She asked a passerby for directions and made her way to meet him. She arrived at the location she scanned the area trying to find him in the crowded street she looked at the landmark he told her to head for did he mean she was to go in? She looked at her message from him no he definitely said head for it not enter it.... She smiled to herself again and thought ok maybe there is more directions to come she had to message him again somehow she knew calling was not part of his plan.
She messaged him with simply 'I'm here' .. he replies 'I know. I'm watching you. scared. Xx' That last bit 'scared' she knew was a statement not a question and the kisses on the end softened the feeling yet her heart was racing she was smiling to herself she loved the game and knew from right there she was going to be his at least for the next 24 hours... and replied simply 'Mhmm' ... Him 'You look good. Slowly turn around. I want to see all of you xx.' She did this knowing he was there he could see her she couldn't see him there was a 4 way junction he could be anywhere watching her .... She slowly turned around she couldn't see him she needed to see him then she remembered he paid her a complement it was only polite she thanked him.... She slowly turned again typing 'Thank you xx'. His message came and as she read it 'I like what I see. Can you find me?' She saw him and simply replied 'Yes' and looked directly at him. She was so turned on at that moment and he knew it too from their previous conversations he knew so much about her already.
She walked over to him he smiled back at her leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek put a reassuring arm around her and simply said ... 'Coffee?'..... The 24 hours that followed they loved every minute and she could just be....
Fact, fiction or both? Thank you for reading xx
Their conversations went further than friendly flirting they swapped photos she hates doing this always worried and self conscious. She liked what she saw of him he had friendly eyes and the way he positioned the camera meant he was looking down to her with a smile on his face this made her instantly twitch and smile.
A few weeks went by they spoke everyday about what they both enjoyed in their respective roles of a D/s relationship. They always agreed they would be honest with each other, this is key upfront and be honest. Those first tentative phone calls where she heard his voice she melted often and as they became more relaxed around each other, the more heated the conversations became. The first time he ordered her to cum on the phone she wasn't sure she could do it for him or for herself, she wanted to, needed to but to let go but to let him hear her was huge for her ......... He encouraged her to let go that she needed it, he wanted it and he commanded it.......
Weeks passed they talked about anything and everything she came and so did he. Then one day they talked about meeting they both longed for the physical connection of skin to skin contact. They matched their busy schedules and the date was set. He instructed her what she was to wear, he booked the room there was the agreement coffee and chat first but if it felt right they could move things on. As the day approached nerves grew including his he felt comfortable with her to tell her this they both agreed honesty after all no facades just them.
Times were set and the day came she was nervous they spoke the night before this helped slightly but despite her nerves she was keen to meet and felt under no pressure that meeting meant things had to happen. She dressed according to his instructions and despite her concerns on self image when she was ready she felt pretty good about herself and give herself a little smile in the mirror and she set off.
He told her when she arrived she was to message him and he would tell her where to meet him he arrived ahead of her he'd rather be early than late. She parked her car she messaged him, he texted her back and told her she needed to head to a certain location she smiled at her phone thinking this sounded vague and wondered what it could mean. She asked a passerby for directions and made her way to meet him. She arrived at the location she scanned the area trying to find him in the crowded street she looked at the landmark he told her to head for did he mean she was to go in? She looked at her message from him no he definitely said head for it not enter it.... She smiled to herself again and thought ok maybe there is more directions to come she had to message him again somehow she knew calling was not part of his plan.
She messaged him with simply 'I'm here' .. he replies 'I know. I'm watching you. scared. Xx' That last bit 'scared' she knew was a statement not a question and the kisses on the end softened the feeling yet her heart was racing she was smiling to herself she loved the game and knew from right there she was going to be his at least for the next 24 hours... and replied simply 'Mhmm' ... Him 'You look good. Slowly turn around. I want to see all of you xx.' She did this knowing he was there he could see her she couldn't see him there was a 4 way junction he could be anywhere watching her .... She slowly turned around she couldn't see him she needed to see him then she remembered he paid her a complement it was only polite she thanked him.... She slowly turned again typing 'Thank you xx'. His message came and as she read it 'I like what I see. Can you find me?' She saw him and simply replied 'Yes' and looked directly at him. She was so turned on at that moment and he knew it too from their previous conversations he knew so much about her already.
She walked over to him he smiled back at her leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek put a reassuring arm around her and simply said ... 'Coffee?'..... The 24 hours that followed they loved every minute and she could just be....
Fact, fiction or both? Thank you for reading xx
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